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| A Parent Forever |
By:
James Walsh |
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Children need their parents to develop physically, mentally and emotionally. If a family breaks up it affects the parent child relationship adversely, resulting in lot of trauma and developmental problems for the child.
Divorce is a difficult phase for parents themselves but only they can help children cope with the disintegration of the family. They should talk to their children, share their feelings, explain the changes in the family and assure the children that they are not to be blamed for anything.
It is important for children to know that their parents are there for them and will always love them. Divorce is traumatic for children but those who receive love from both the parents are seen to fare the best in the given circumstances.
After a divorce it is imperative that a child separates from one of the parents. Children are greatly affected by this physical absence of one of the parents. In the case of an acrimonious divorce most children lose complete touch with one parent after sometime. This is terrible for a child who feels unworthy, deserted and unloved.
Divorce is the result of two partners not being able to get along with eachother. They usually drag the children in the conflict and expect them to take sides. Some parents use children as sounding boards against the other parent, criticizing him\her in front of the child, blaming the other partner for the mess. Some even use children as pawns in their personal vendetta against the ex spouse.
In their fight against eachother, they forget that they may no longer be partners but they are still parents. That is one bond that is not going to break ever. They need to give the roles of parent a priority if they truly love their children and want what is best for them.
A child might be living in a single parent family but it is critical that the child is able to talk to both parents openly. Love and trust are the key parenting issues in development of a healthy and emotionally sound child.
Parents have the responsibility to co parent their children in the best possible manner. Sometimes it is not easy to work with your ex spouse. Even if it means compromising your own emotions and giving up the power to be right, it is all for a good cause
Shutting the other parent out of your child’s life is the worst thing you can do to your already suffering child. No matter how bad the relationship between ex spouses, if both the parties make up their minds to make an effort, they can have a healthy relationship with their children.
Usually, the non custodial parent (mostly fathers) drops out of the child’s life soon after divorce. The law and the circumstances might not be in your favour but do not give up on your children. The situation is not ideal for anyone, try harder to be a part of their lives and be there for them.
Parents need to set aside their differences and develop a workable parenting plan. It should be best suited to the parents and should work towards developing a healthy child. Keep an open mind. Even if you do not see things the same, it does not mean that one of you is more or less capable of raising your children.
It is important to offer a safe and loving environment involving both the parents for the benefit of the child. In the heat of the moment it is difficult to focus on your children alone. Here are some things you should remember:
1. Your children need both of you as parents.
2. There are many ways to parent, but the most important part is unconditional love.
3. It is not your job to control how the other spouse parents.
4. Enabling your children to be with your ex-spouse will give you an emotional break you also need.
5. Giving up the desire to control the way your ex-spouse behaves will give you more time to focus on yourself.
6. An absent parent leads to a lifetime of dealing with a void in ones’ life; you do not want to be responsible for that.
If what you truly want is the best for your children, do whatever you have to do to have your children experience the love from both parents. They deserve it and you owe it to them. Allow them to have exactly what you have wanted all of your life...happiness.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com |
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